“A lot of speculations on the money I’ve made
Honeys I’ve slayed
How is he for real?”
It’s been six days since I received my Juno nomination for Jonestown 2. I’m trying to not get too stoked, but it’s kind of hard. Hard, because I actually believe I have a shot this time around. Upsets do happen, though I don’t really think this one would be much of an upset. If this was sales based? Sure. Drake takes it hands down. But quality of record? I think I stand amongst the best.
The ‘congratulations’ are pouring in. This is my third time to the ball. I believe people are paying more attention, because this one stands a chance. Also, because my profile is a bit bigger than last year. But, people see me as a contender. People want me to win. I want to win. I’m not that artist pretending I don’t give a shit about this stuff. I totally do. I’m not super interested in wearing decent clothes, posing for pictures, shit like that. That’s more to show my valentine a fun night. I know what it all means. But to say don’t want that trophy would be a lie. We all do. And anyone that says otherwise is full of shit. Trying to play the cool-guy, whatever card. We’ve seen a few artists announce their ‘boycotts’, then they’re right back in the stadium seats.
Last year I sat at a dinner table with my Valentine, between Solitair [which i love] and some cheesy R&B singer that spoke shit with his management about everyone else not as deserving as him the entire evening, despite the fact nobody knew who he was. We’ve all done it. I knew I wasn’t winning, but you never know. Upsets happen. But nobody really gave a shit about Vaudeville. Jian Ghomeshi opened the envelope slow and curled a creepy grin just before he announced Shad’s name. It was weird. Shad deserved it. The firing squad let off shots. Drake was robbed. Well, Drake hosted the night and received major promo, not to mention whatever the paycheque was. I’m sure he was fine. It was an easy loss.
In 2008 I sat in my hotel room, trying to control the mind fuck. I stared out at Vancouver in my pyjamas trying to manifest the victory. I knew Kardi was taking it, but I believed The BOOK was better. Every major publication released their Juno predictions. Most said ‘D-Sisive should get it. Kardi will get it.’ I read too much into it. If the press is behind me, the jury could be too. In reality, the press listen to the music. The juries tend to checkmark whoever was more popular. And that’s fine. Nobody knew me. But…upsets can happen! I took the loss pretty hard. It was a quiet flight home. This was the reason behind my line in IF. I believed I deserved it. I believe I deserved it. And I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m only doing what every other nominee was doing. DL Incognito wasn’t sitting in his hotel saying ‘D-Sisive should take it.’ Fuck that! With the exception of DL, who’s a pal of mine, I’d bet none of the other noms even listened to my reacord. And why should they?
It is what it is.
Questions. Questions. Questions. I wake up to more and more questions. Do you think you deserve to win? Do you think Drake deserves to win? Do you think all of the nominations are deserving? Do you think it’s unfair that there’s a song nominated against 4 albums? Do you think your life will change if you win? Do you think people will be pissed off if you win? Do you want to win?
Though, I really shouldn’t be thinking about it so much. I have songs to write.